Too Pooped to Pop? Sexuality and the Mature Adult

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Are you wondering if you’ll be able to enjoy sex as you age? Studies tell us that seniors can, in fact, continue to enjoy sex into their 60s, 70s, and beyond. Next time you see a senior couple holding hands, wonder no longer–they may be having more sex than you do. After all, they have fewer responsibilities, more time, and greater experience than young adults, who may look great but complain of stress and fatigue.

However, while mature adults are definitely interested in sex, they do face challenges. The primary challenge is, unfortunately, the lack of a sexual partner. Even when couples are married, one partner may decide that sex is undignified past a certain age. A partner may also have physical limitations that get in the way of enjoyable sex.

In fact, physical challenges are the second most common reason that older adults stop having sex. Heart disease, diabetes, and cancer may affect a person’s ability to function sexually. For example, women with diabetes may complain of lack of sensation. Men with prostate cancer who have surgery are at risk for experiencing impotence. Cancer can cause fatigue, not to mention depression or issues related to body image.

Lesser problems can also impede enjoyment. One such instance is when a partner is using medication to manage pain. The medicine may work well at stopping pain, but the partner may also be drowsy at times.

In addition, women who are in menopause (12 months without any menstrual period) may find that they need more stimulation to experience orgasm due to decreases in testosterone. They may also experience changes to the vagina, including dryness and pain with intercourse, often due to the thinning of the vaginal walls. Women who are afraid of hormone therapy may be heartened to learn that there are low estrogen preparations that can be used locally in the vagina to help facilitate sexual activity.

Men also experience changes. Of course, men have FDA-approved medications to help with erectile function. But many men would do themselves and their partners a service if they were to be more assertive about their sexual needs. They can let their partner know, for example, that they need stronger stimulation or longer foreplay in order to perform.

There are remedies for all of these challenges. One is overcoming the myth that the “gold standard” for sex is intercourse. This is unfortunate. More seniors would be able to say they “had sex” if they broadened their ideas to include touching, caressing, mutual pleasuring (masturbation), sharing fantasies, and having warm verbal exchanges.

The physical challenges can also be addressed with the help of a compassionate, knowledgeable physician and/or sex therapist. Many physicians today know that seniors are more interested in maintaining a sexual connection with the partner. They can advise seniors how to adapt to being sexual as they change with age. For example, the time someone takes medication can be adjusted so that both partners can be awake for sex at the same time. Positions can also be modified, sometimes with the help of a physical therapist’s input. Physicians can also discuss remedies for erectile dysfunction, or refer to an appropriate specialist.

What can a sex therapist do for a couple that is aging but wants to stay sexually active? First, the therapist can help the couple identify the obstacle to pleasure. Next, they can suggest touching and massage exercises to reinvigorate desire. They can also help the couple mourn the sex of their youth, and embrace new ways of being together. A sex therapist can help a couple see and explore the meaning of sexuality in a committed relationship.

Sex doesn’t have to end at a certain age, and it doesn’t have to look a certain way, either. If you are a mature adult still interested in sex, but worried that you may not be able to participate, talk to someone. You have no idea what your sexual potential is for pleasure until you try.

Stephanie Buehler, Psy.D. is a licensed psychologist, relationship expert, and certified sex therapist. She is the Director of The Buehler Institute, where she works with men, women, and couples who want to experience greater intimacy, in and out of the bedroom. Visit her website to access her blog, sign up for her ezine, or learn more about how sex and relationship therapy can help.

Red Dead Redemption Sex Scene Insulting to Mature Gamers

There are those who will claim that anyone who doesn’t like sex in video games such as this one should just “not buy the game” and avoid “ruining the fun for others”. These are the exact types of comments that come from an immature gamer.

Sex and nudity, gore and excessive violent content do not make a game “mature” and the M for Mature rating itself is just a label to allow developers to slip this controversial content in whenever they can to draw more attention to their titles.

Rockstar has a reputation for putting nudity and sex in their games so it’s no surprise really that Red Dead Redemption would have such a scene. They proved in their Grand Theft Auto series that they like to push the boundaries of what is allowable and acceptable. Due to some heated debate over the “Hot Coffee” mini game scandal, Rockstar has kept to mostly implied sex scenes and sexuality. But in Red Dead Redemption, they decide to take it a step further and introduce sex in their games in a new way. If controversy is what they’re after, then they’ve certainly done the trick!

The famous Red Dead Redemption sex scene happens at the beginning of “The Gates of El Presidio” mission. John walks in to find Abraham Reyes (well known for consorting of women of all types) in what some would call a compromising position with a local woman on a table. This is where the problem comes in. It’s quite apparent to any mature adult that game developers could easily imply what was taking place on the table without the need for nudity or graphic sex scenes. Yet Rockstar feels we need full-on cartoon porn to get the picture.

It’s a real insult to mature gamers when developers think we need to have this type of blatant pornographic scene thrown in that has no real bearings on the mission or outcome of the game in any way. It’s an attention-seeking ploy that wouldn’t be needed if they just made great games in the first place. It’s not so much the nudity and sex itself that bothers most gamers as it is the tricky tactic that is often used to get the game in the press.

The only people interested in the potential pixilated porn would be children or other immature audiences. For the rest of us, we get what the storyline is telling us about Reyes and his ruff n’ gruff attitude and objectification of women. We understand that he relishes in his celebrity status and taking advantage of that to its fullest extent. There’s no need for the scene at all other than to draw controversial attention to a subpar game. If more time was spent improving the story line and game play, Red Dead Redemption wouldn’t need a sex scene to get people talking about it.

So what is the scene all about anyway?

The basic, clean version is that at the start of mission, John walks into a room where Reyes has a local woman on a table and is obviously having sexual intercourse with her. The woman is clothed but the clothes are pulled away to reveal the private areas. We see breasts and the sounds and animations of intercourse but we do not see male or female genitalia. The woman, startled, then jumps up from the table and begins to walk towards camera view where we get a full female frontal. Her dress is pulled away at the genitals and at the breasts.

Adult Dating is About Maturity and True Romance

The term “adult dating” refers to the dating habits, which essentially carry responsibility and maturity in the way of search for the romantic relationship. So, Adult Dating stands to being mature and responsible while carrying out the romantic relationship. It is not something like what a teenager or a person in early twenties does recklessly and irresponsibly while dating.

Real Adult Dating comprises of the elements of intelligence over immature gestures while dating a person. The immature singles think of a nightclub or a bar when it comes to find a quick potential date. However, the responsible adult dater chooses some other places in search of a potential date. The matured adult knows that the person who has more in common with him can be found by pursuing his favorite hobby or interest. So more precisely, adult dater is committed to find another person who shares the common interests and hobbies. Adult dating doesn’t merely look for the physical satisfaction or void romance.

Also, responsible adult dating embraces treating your date with respect even at a time when the things are not well. Remember, behaving rudely with your date at a time when things are not in place is not the sign of a mature person. So, be polite and behave respectfully as it would surely get you more pleasure and romantic moments.

Often, it is seen that teenagers and young daters get involved for physical reasons! But, a mature person realizes that true dating is all about mutual respect. A mature person looks for a companion, who has something in common with him than just physical attraction. So, the adult daters grow into being more mature and responsible and then the bars and nightclubs become an idle place for them.

So, if you are looking for adult dating then the internet is not the right place for you. Just wake up and visit some museum, concert or a workshop where your favorite events take place. While getting involved in your favorite hobbies and interests, look out for other exciting people who share the common interests and hobbies with you. And, gradually you will find a perfect adult date, which will help you develop your relationship satisfactorily and romantically. So, just go ahead and experience the mature dating habits as the life is very short to experience the real joy and learn the art of romance.

Relighting Fantasies with Mature Erotica

Eroticism and sexuality are reaching new dimensions nowadays, together with the appearance of a great range of contents and publications that are destined to promote them at high levels. Erotica publications are gaining more popularity based on the fact that eroticism and the sexual act are presented through a mature perspective, a perspective that focuses, besides on the sexual act itself, on passion, feelings, attitudes, sensations and other types of stimulants that have specific roles in intimate relations.

Mature erotica – what is it? Is mature erotica sexual explicit content destined to mature individuals? Is mature erotica a sort of literature, art that appeals to adults? Let’s put it this way: mature erotica is a world of passion, but a soft passion that is expressed through more tender actions and relations between mature partners. A world of sensations, yet more delicate sensations that have grown and developed in years. Erotica publications present a wide range of categories that include women erotica, erotica for men, classic erotica and mature erotica, to name a few. Mature erotica is probably the most specialized one as it presents sexual acts and activities from a more mature, complex perspective.

But why “mature”? What is the main difference between mature erotica and other similar contents? First of all, an experienced individual experiences sexual activities and lives the intimate relations differently than an individual who is a debutant in this field. Sure, the perceptions regarding the sexual activity and sexuality itself change with the passing of the years and with gaining more experience. And this is precisely what mature erotica does: it presents the sexual act and its complex context through a mature perception. Sex is not just sex; it is not a simple, dynamic, physical action. Sexual activity implies senses, implies fantasies, openness, feelings and creativity – and all these are described with detail in mature erotica contents.

Mature erotica has many fans and admirers, many readers and viewers. From poems to short stories and novels, the wide range of mature erotica contents attracts adults that are willing to rediscover their passion and to relight their sexual desire. As it expresses the sexual act as a beautiful, wonderful and complex experience, adults are invited to live this experience in its complexity, to release their passion and fantasies and to literally live and feel the sexual act.

Mature erotica appeals both to men and women, as it manages to present fantasies in an appealing, sensual way, a way that promotes sexuality only in combination with other types of stimulants (besides the strictly sexual ones). Fantasies are let free, minds are let open. Age is of no relevance, since the only thing that matters is the sexual desire and attitude. An attitude that combines sensuality and senses with sexual stimulants, emotions and feelings – this is the base of mature erotica.

Too Pooped to Pop? Sexuality and the Mature Adult

Are you wondering if you’ll be able to enjoy sex as you age? Studies tell us that seniors can, in fact, continue to enjoy sex into their 60s, 70s, and beyond. Next time you see a senior couple holding hands, wonder no longer–they may be having more sex than you do. After all, they have fewer responsibilities, more time, and greater experience than young adults, who may look great but complain of stress and fatigue.

However, while mature adults are definitely interested in sex, they do face challenges. The primary challenge is, unfortunately, the lack of a sexual partner. Even when couples are married, one partner may decide that sex is undignified past a certain age. A partner may also have physical limitations that get in the way of enjoyable sex.

In fact, physical challenges are the second most common reason that older adults stop having sex. Heart disease, diabetes, and cancer may affect a person’s ability to function sexually. For example, women with diabetes may complain of lack of sensation. Men with prostate cancer who have surgery are at risk for experiencing impotence. Cancer can cause fatigue, not to mention depression or issues related to body image.

Lesser problems can also impede enjoyment. One such instance is when a partner is using medication to manage pain. The medicine may work well at stopping pain, but the partner may also be drowsy at times.

In addition, women who are in menopause (12 months without any menstrual period) may find that they need more stimulation to experience orgasm due to decreases in testosterone. They may also experience changes to the vagina, including dryness and pain with intercourse, often due to the thinning of the vaginal walls. Women who are afraid of hormone therapy may be heartened to learn that there are low estrogen preparations that can be used locally in the vagina to help facilitate sexual activity.

Men also experience changes. Of course, men have FDA-approved medications to help with erectile function. But many men would do themselves and their partners a service if they were to be more assertive about their sexual needs. They can let their partner know, for example, that they need stronger stimulation or longer foreplay in order to perform.

There are remedies for all of these challenges. One is overcoming the myth that the “gold standard” for sex is intercourse. This is unfortunate. More seniors would be able to say they “had sex” if they broadened their ideas to include touching, caressing, mutual pleasuring (masturbation), sharing fantasies, and having warm verbal exchanges.

The physical challenges can also be addressed with the help of a compassionate, knowledgeable physician and/or sex therapist. Many physicians today know that seniors are more interested in maintaining a sexual connection with the partner. They can advise seniors how to adapt to being sexual as they change with age. For example, the time someone takes medication can be adjusted so that both partners can be awake for sex at the same time. Positions can also be modified, sometimes with the help of a physical therapist’s input. Physicians can also discuss remedies for erectile dysfunction, or refer to an appropriate specialist.

What can a sex therapist do for a couple that is aging but wants to stay sexually active? First, the therapist can help the couple identify the obstacle to pleasure. Next, they can suggest touching and massage exercises to reinvigorate desire. They can also help the couple mourn the sex of their youth, and embrace new ways of being together. A sex therapist can help a couple see and explore the meaning of sexuality in a committed relationship.

Sex doesn’t have to end at a certain age, and it doesn’t have to look a certain way, either. If you are a mature adult still interested in sex, but worried that you may not be able to participate, talk to someone. You have no idea what your sexual potential is for pleasure until you try.

Stephanie Buehler, Psy.D. is a licensed psychologist, relationship expert, and certified sex therapist. She is the Director of The Buehler Institute, where she works with men, women, and couples who want to experience greater intimacy, in and out of the bedroom. Visit her website to access her blog, sign up for her ezine, or learn more about how sex and relationship therapy can help.

Acupressure to Increase Vitality & Solve Sex Problems

Acupressure plays a very useful role to increase vitality and solve men’s sex related problems except the venereal diseases. The sex related problems of men are usually results from an unbalanced development due to disturbance in sex glands. In most of the cases, young patients between the age of 18-20 years or even mature adults do not talk about their sex problems such as masturbation, emission of semen in erotic dreams, wet dreams, premature ejaculation or general disease, and HIV/AIDS. They try to mislead the practitioners regarding symptoms like loss of appetite, memory loss, and early tiredness, general debility, or burning sensation in the body.

In such cases root cause are two main reasons – physical and psychological problems. Because of these two main reasons only sex life of men becomes dull and unhappy. Men’s sex-related general problems can be summed up as follows:

Impotence

The inability in men to achieve an erection adequate for sexual intercourse. This is a normal problem of men, according to psychologists after 40 years of life every one person out of three may be suffering Impotence. There are various reasons for this such as mental tension and stress, tiredness, longtime illness, use of alcohol. Shakespeare’s porter in Macbeth knew about the effects of alcohol when he said “drink provides the desire, but takes away the performance.” Impotence often leads to anxiety to subsequent failure to get an Erection. Premature ejaculation is sometimes preliminary to impotence.

Premature Ejaculation

During the process of sexual intercourse the man gets discharged very soon is known as premature ejaculation problem. It has two categories:

Before starting the sexual activities the man gets discharged only just touching the woman is called “ejaculation ante portas”.
The moment sexual activities are started and man gets discharged is called “ejaculation post portas”. In this case the man gets upset and sad and the woman also looses her interest in the sex. This happens because of nervous system problems and psychological reasons.

Spermatorrhea Abnormal

Involuntary discharge of semen, without orgasm. In this case man gets discharged without lady’s contact. This problem mostly occurs in the youth.

Diabetes

In this case semen is getting out before or after passing the urine or sometimes it comes out with urine and makes the sexual weakness in the body.

Sterility in Men

Some men complete the sexual intercourse but do not have active sperms to produce baby.

Losses of Sexual Desire

Some men have no interest in sex due to some physical and psychological disorders. So they refrain from sex.

Enlarged Prostate Gland

This problem is found to some extent in most men over middle age. In some cases enlargement causes symptoms by obstructing the out flow of urine at the bladder neck and by causing frequency of urination.

Diseases of Testis

There are several diseases of men’s testis like swelling, pain or deposits of water etc. This happens in old age and also by bad eating habits. This can be cured with medical practitioner’s treatment plus acupressure therapy.

Veneral Diseases

The cause of venereal disease is having unprotected sex with prostitutes or the degeneration of prostate gland, due to bacterial infection; it can be either acute or chronic. In case of venereal disease, the patient would have regular or causal burning sensation while urinating.

HIV/AIDS

If there is a tenderness or pain on the reflex points of spleen and sex organs it indicates the infection of HIV, because such infection affects the blood and damage the spleen. In such cases all members of family are to be investigated by giving pressure on spleen and sex reflex points located at palms and sole.